We Fend for Ourselves
by emigirl108
Summary: When Beck Oliver gets brutally murdered, how will the group cope? They've been torn apart by arguments and secrets, starting to head their separate ways. But will Jade let her biggest fears get the best of her? Will Tori have to comfort her, and learn to accept her? And will Cat have the courage to say "No"? Rated M for language and mature content. IN-PROGRESS! New Chapter Soon.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is really my actual first fanfiction I really plan on finishing. And I also like this story line. Sorry if the characters are OOC, but that's how they should be in my mind. They all have their own secrets. I worked really hard on this!

Anyways, enough of my rumbling... Enjoy! Reviews are welcome!

—

Chapter 1

(Jade's POV)

My brain started to clear from the fog of the morning. There was rain pounding on the roof of Beck, my boyfriend's, RV, pushing me to step outside in the rain. I loved rain. It was relaxing and helped me to clear my head.

_Wait...Beck's RV? _I thought to myself._ I was just home..._

I gasped as I saw the rust colored blood on my hands. What the hell happened? My brain was refusing to recollect my memory, but I had a feeling I knew.

Running towards the curtain called his "room", I automatically smelled the stench of a rotting corpse. I held my nose. I moved the curtain to the side and looked away as soon as I saw the body.

"Beck!" I yelled, mad. Did I even do this? The blood seemed to point to it. Why would that thought even get into my head? I don't know. I can't remember. I don't know how I got here! _Don't freak out,_ I told myself calmly.

I slowly placed myself by the dried, scarred, and bruised body of my boyfriend. Tears streamed down my face. I barely ever cried. There was once in front of Tori... VEGA... but, it was very rare for me.

"Oh God, let this just be a nightmare..." I whispered softly, my lungs barely able to utter a sound. I reached out to touch the body.

"SHIT! No..." I sobbed loudly, crying even more. I placed my head to my knees, trying to comfort myself.

Slowly, I picked myself up, grabbed my jacket, and slipped on my combat boots.

"I love you Beck," I moaned, attempting to keep my composure. I burst out with another round of tears.

Despite the rain outside, I ran out without an umbrella and headed to my car. The rain mixed in with my salty tears.

_How did I drive the car here?_ I pondered, freaking myself out further.

What ever the case, I had to think about it later. I needed to speak to some one about this... It couldn't be happening...

(Tori's POV)

"That's the way, uh huh, uh huh,

I like it! Uh huh, uh huh..." Trina began to sing, walking up the stairs.

"Shut the heck up Trina! You can't sing for your life!" I yelled at her, laughing. She was annoying, but I still cared about her, like any other younger sister would. I think.

"What ever!" she yelled back.

I was sitting nonchalantly in my house. The living room to be exact, which was themed a calm brown, and plastered with plaques and achievements I had made. It was technically my mom's house, but...you get the picture. I really had nothing to do. Sure there was studying, but school was out. There was a huge hurricane threatening L.A... which I thought could never happen. But I guess you never say never.

The University of California at Los Angeles is great. I took Singing as my major, an acting in culture as my minor. I set a good path for myself, and I graduated from Hollywood Arts with high marks. That also led for our "gang" to slowly separate from each other. Everyone had to go separate ways.

I was going to call Beck, but something told me not to. He probably was with Jade "admiring the rain..."

Who does that? Liking rain? Only psycho's liked rain. Or emos, goths, or what ever she was. She was so close to Beck, so if I called him, she'd probably freak out.

Why would Beck go out with that mystery? Nobody understood her. No one thought she had any capability to show emotion.

She was a monster.

"Why am I thinking about Jade?" I thought to myself. I chuckled quietly, and shook my head. Getting comfortable, I turned on the tv, and switched to the news, hoping to find some more weather updates.

"And we now bring you to some breaking news. Beckett Oliver, a 19 year old young adult, who planned on attending New York Film Academy, was brutally murdered today, around 10 o'clock last night. Witnesses say they found Jadelyn West, his 19 year old girlfriend, fleeing from the scene in tears, after hearing yelling next door. Police say they have no suspects so far, but they shouldn't be too far off with the multiple traces of evidence..."

I stared at the graphic photos displayed across the TV screen. My face dropped into a frown, my thoughts screaming into my head. How could I think what I just thought? What should I say? I still didn't like Jade, but Beck seemed go find her an important of his life. He was always there for her.

I didn't have Jade's number, of course, and Andre moved to go to the Atlanta Institute of Music... so I could only call Cat. I knew she and Beck were close, so maybe I could help her out.

I got my phone and dialed the number, trying to keep from tearing up.

What about Jade though? Did she already know? I erased the thought of Jade from my mind as Cat answered the phone.

"Hello?" Cat said. I felt she wasn't smiling. Her bubbly attitude wasn't shining though the phone.

"Hey... um... this is Tori."

"Oh, hi! I was just thinking about unicorns and baby animals, you know..." She seemed hesitant, or as if she was lying... she never lied.

"Okayy...I have bad news... I don't know to say-"

"I already know. Just leave me alone..."

She hung up the phone.

I stared at ceiling in disbelief.

(Cat's POV)

Depression hurts. Cymbalta Hurts.

Fuck that shit.

Cutting eases my pain a lot better.

Ever since Beck was murdered, as I heard in the news, my depression sunk in, worse than ever.

Of course, Cat's supposed to be the bubble-headed bimbo with red hair, who loves unicorns and ice cream, and who especially hates cursing... but no one understood the real me.

Because Beck's gone now. The only brotherly and fatherly figure in my life. Dead. Brutally murdered. Who could have done that to a pretty boy like Beck?

I tightened the grip on the knife in my hands. I steadied myself on the cold bathroom floor.

*Slice* The blood dripped slowly from my wrist. God, this feels good, I thought, the pain surging through my arm. No one was in the house for now. I was all alone.

*Slice* Tears came from my eyes. I wasn't crying for myself, or Beck, or Tori.

I was crying for Jade. She doesn't understand what I go through. She'll never understand. But if she saw me like this, she'd be confused and scared. She might not even be able handle it. She might run away. I could see those stormy green eyes now. I helped her when she cried, but now she can't lean on me anymore. "Too bad," I groaned.

*Slice* I stopped. My wrist was teared open, and was burning.

Then I heard the door to my house open, and slam shut.

_Dad?_ I worried, cleaning the knife and putting it away, under the sink.

I exited the bathroom and walked slowly down the stairs, trying not to be heard.

I looked around. I could never see home here. The living room was huge. Antique furniture was lined up everywhere, and a modern style "family" room has a huge TV and other electronics laying around.

It was a façade for my family.

And me.

"Cat!?" my dad yelled, slurring his words.

_Shit, he's drunk,_ I sighed.

"Yes?" I said sweetly, trying not to upset him.

"Come the fuck down here, you bitch..."

I slowly approached him. . His shaggy beard was unruly and dirty, and his eyes seemed distant and glassy. He was wearing dirty jeans and fake brown leather jeans. He towered over me with light skin. I looked just like my dad. I closed my eyes.

"Do what you do, just get it over with quickly," I cried.

"Ohh, sassy huh? Let's see how that gets you far."

He slapped me. Hard. I fell down, my red hair flying behind me.

"I never liked this color," he laughed with a raspy voice, groaning and pulling me up with my hair.

Just let it happen... It always has... Always will...Now forever... Beck's dead...

My eyes closed and bled tear of shame, regret, and pain.

I wanted an angel to rescue me. Or just to shrink me into a speck of space. My angel, however, was dead.

For a split second I believed in God. People were convinced he would help. But how could he allow this to happen?

—

A/N: And that wraps up the 1st chapter! I hoped all you who read it liked it. Please review! I have the 2nd chapter ready, but I still have to type it up. Until then!

Signing out,

emigirl108


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I'm really glad I got some diverse amounts of people to review and read my first chapter! I've been adding multiple chapters in my notebook (because I'm cool like that ) and so I'm pretty prepared to keep you all updated on time. I just have to go through multiple stages of editing and revising for the chapters to be perfect.

If you have any ideas how I should continue the story, don't hesitate to review, or PM me!

Onward!

Chapter 2

(Jade's POV)

As I was driving somewhere along a highway not awfully unfamiliar, I let the radio play softly in the background, still scared of the possibilities of what could have happened to Beck. It was cold and foggy outside, the type of weather I remembered that Beck hated. The peak hours of the morning were starting to show.

_I shouldn't even be crying, _I moaned to myself. I was pathetic. I hated when I cried.

The rain basked in my emotions, and my pain soared to great heights. I was able to just barely think, enough to be able to drive. I had a lot on my mind.

I felt tired and exhausted. My feelings were burning my energy.

My tears still returned however, slowly and quietly sliding down my face. I thought about Cat, my figurative sister, and how her serious condition with cutting had probably returned. She thought I wouldn't find out, but I knew where the marks on her wrists had come from. Who wears long sleeves in L.A.? I cared about her that much. I guess I was here to take Beck's place.

Beck was so important to her. To ME. The thought of him gone brought my heart to pieces.

"You pathetic little piece of shit!" I yelled at myself, pounding on the driver's wheel, sobbing loudly.

How could I be crying? Maybe I could have done something to save him. But how did I end up at his RV, him being dead? I needed to see Cat. To reassure her I was ok… or to see how she was…

Suddenly my phone rang. Looking down at my lap, I realized it was Tori.

I threw my phone to the passenger's seat in disgust, tapping my finger in an agitated manner. Why would she still care? After everything I'd done to her?

The pestering, loud vibration engulfed the sounds of the car, causing me to give in and reach over.

"Fuck you…" I cursed at myself before answering. "Hello?"

"Jade I—"

"Yeah, okay. What's there to say? I'm sorry for your loss? Thanks Tori…" I cried, my voice cracking from time to time.

I heard silence from the other end. Then she spoke up.

"You called me Tori."

I glared outside the window again, mad at myself. I was totally losing my edge.

"No I didn't, I called you Vega."

"Nope, you said Tori."

"Fuck you!"

"I love you too, West," she said, probably grinning with her large smile through the phone. I lightly smiled, but still attempted to sound mad.

"Wipe that smirk off your face. And I HATE YOU. Got it? End of story. VEGA. And how did you get my number?" I asked. "Whatever, doesn't matter, just don't keep it. Good night to you."

I hung up the phone and threw my phone in the back seat of the car, humming a tune annoyingly to myself, willing it to make my bigger fears to run away. But they still followed me like a shadow.

What if I had feelings of some sort for Tori freakin' Vega?

**A/N:** And that's Chapter 2! I had this down in my notebook and I edited it/ revised it like 3 times! I really hope you all enjoyed it! Chapters 3 AND 4 should be up this weekend (Sat. Sun.) but I don't know about other parts of the world, only America.

Sorry!

Please share this and follow!

Signing out,

emigirl108


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Let's get to the next chapter shall we? There was a huge blizzard in NY, so I'm staying inside =)

Onward!

Chapter 3

(Tori's POV)

I smiled as I hung up the phone. But then I frowned.

I just said I loved Jade West. To her.

"It was nothing, just sarcasm, don't stress, Tori. You need coffee," I resolved out loud, stomping over to the coffee machine.

But the words kept playing in my mind.

"_I love you too, West."_

I couldn't see her face, but I bet she would have been mad.

And how did she know I was smiling? I still couldn't believe I said that.

I picked up the sweet smelling coffee and poured it into my favorite cup that I got at Niagara Falls. I went on a trip to Canada.

With Beck.

I sighed, reminiscing about him, taking a sip of the warm coffee.

Walking back to the couch I saw that Jade was calling me.

"Hello!?" I said, rushing to the phone, and almost spilling my drink.

"Where do you live. VEGA," she huffed, emphasizing the previous mistake she wanted to avoid.

I told her my address. "Kay. Bye. VEGA."

She hung up the phone and I smirked, laughing internally.

But my mind automatically switched back to Beck's murder. It started to sink in as I cried silently.

I might have to comfort Jade. Which, in my brain, sucked. But at the same time, my heart said it didn't.

(Cat's POV)

"I'm not finished with you yet! Get over here!" My dad yelled, chasing me into the vast space of the house.

I didn't think it would go this far as him trying to…

_Don't think about it. _I willed myself. _Just run._

The house was big enough for me to hide just about anywhere. I had bruise marks all over my face, arms and hands, but I almost barely had clothes on my frail body.

_He… almost raped me! My innocence was almost taken by this horrible man! And I can't run or else he'll try again!_

My hair was a tangled mess, and my head was spinning. Maybe I could…

"BITCH? Where the FUCK is you? Don't let me get your brother here, too! You know he has eyes like a hawk…" he laughed, words slurring again.

I told myself not to panic. My brother was a psychopath and he continually escaped the rehab center he was in to party with my dad at the bar.

I didn't want to cry or else he'd hear me in the closet. So I just closed my eyes, curled up into a ball, and pretended I wasn't there… fading away into my memories of happier times… I wanted to be near Beck, and Jade, and my mom, and my non-psychotic brother… my old life.

A few minutes later, which actually felt like 4 freaking hours, I stepped ever so quietly out of the closet and into the bathroom. Then I locked the door.

I looked into the mirror and my heart sank. I looked like a disgrace. _ To who? _I wondered.

I had a black eye forming clearly, a swollen lip, scratches by my cheeks, and there were open cuts swelling up around my neck. My dad tried to rape me, but he also tried to choke me and successfully punched me.

I sank to the floor. That enough was pain, but my arms, along with the cuts I made earlier, had hand marks on them. Cuts, bruises and more cuts.

I leaned my head on the wall and started crying, not really caring who cared who would hear. The cuts on my face stung from the tears.

I started singing a dark tune to myself. Ever since I started getting abused by my dad, I picked up a bunch of the songs Jade listened to. Black, Emo and Gothic Metal, anything that could help fuel my pain.

"_Every time I try to take control I'm getting mad_

_Things are always different than you want them all to be_

_I have learned a million times you can just make it bad_

_Ain't no way to change these things to what you wanna see_

_We take control of our whole wide universe_

_We are pretending we don't need no helping hand_

_We try to take control of all our whole wide world_

_But we will never understand_

_Far from the stars_

_There might be a higher being we may not yet see_

_Far from the stars_

_A better life could wait for me…" _I sung.

I breathed the lyrics into my heart. But somehow the situation still reached into my head.

_I've cried almost 5 times in one day… What a record… _I laughed sullenly to myself.

I grabbed the knife waiting for me. It was still sharp as ever as I thumbed it, and it would help me ease my pain more. Pain helped me. It always has. Always will. _My red hair matches the color of my pain. Wonderful._

*Slice* The cuts in my wrists tore open again.

*Slice* One for Jade…

*Slice* Two for my dead mother…

*Slice* Three for Beck…

* Slice* Four for-

"CAT! Oh my FUCKING GOD!" I heard a voice yell from the doorway, interrupting my thoughts.

**A/N: **Who's that voice from the doorway? And what's going to happen to Cat and this depression?

The name of the song I have the lyrics from is Far From the Stars by Helloween. Great band. One album only.

Please review! And sorry for the late update! My mom was using the laptop to watch TV (Netflix).

Chapter 4 should be here by or on Friday. Of course, no guarantees, unless I can keep 'em.

Thanks again!

Signing out,

emigirl108


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I'm back with a new chapter… and I want to say who my favorite characters from Victorious are: Cat, Jade, and somewhat Andre (he and Tori are like one and a half). Everyone else is secondary.

Shout out to **JessyRae** for being an awesome author and inspiring me to have energy to keep typing and to **ChasingMidnight** for being a great pal, and reading my stories! Go on and check 'em out! Read their stories!

Do you know how hard it is to write a story with OOC Characters after watching the show? It makes me crazy, but I had to refresh my memory a bit. This is a longer one for you guys, since I update every two days or so.

I may not upload anything in the next 2-4 days, because of winter break from school. So don't hate me for not uploading.

Onward! (And please review!)

Chapter 4

(Jade's POV)

My motherly instincts that I never thought I could have forced me into running to Cat's house with Tori.

VEGA!

I had to stop saying that…

I picked her up, and told her we should head to Cat's to check up on her. She probably was upset.

Of course a short sob fest in the car led to anger from me, sending the car into silence.

_(Flashback)_

"_Could you just shut up Vega? God, you're so annoying!" I yelled._

"_What did I ever do to you?" She frowned and yelled back._

"_You're just there and creep into my head, and you disturb me! Your presence annoys me!"_

"_Then why the heck did you even call me? You don't like me, so why would you call me to come with you?" she said, staring at me with fierce brown eyes._

_I closed my eyes briefly, and then took a deep breath. _

"_I don't know," I sighed._

_She turned her head, and resolved to look out the window._

"_You can't hate me," she whispered._

_I rubbed my hands on the steering wheel, and continued to drive, my heart racing and my breath pulsing. The sun was out and I let my mind race as I pulled down the shades from my head. I stepped harder on the gas._

_(End flashback)_

We got to Cat's house, in a soft mood, and I tried not to argue again with Tori/Vega. The house was bigger than the pool in the backyard, which was huge already. I glanced at Tori's face as she analyzed the house, a puzzled expression on her face.

"What is the problem, Vega?" I said, frustrated, but internally laughing at her confusion.

"Nothing…just looking…" she said, trying to keep her composure. "This place is huge…"

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Let's just go."

We exited the car and proceeded to walk up to the door and ring the doorbell. However no one answered.

"Jade, look," Tori whispered, looking though the foggy window.

"What?" I said, annoyed and curious. I walked over to the window and saw what I knew was no surprise.

"Cat's dad is passed out in the living room, so we can probably get a ladder out back to get…"

"Got one!" Tori yelped.

"Great, let's go put it up," I said hurrying over to the ladder.

We pushed it up to the second floor window, propped it open, and got inside the house.

"Why…um…was her dad passed out?" Tori asked me.

"Drunk," I said simply. I knew from past experience.

"Oh," she looked down at her feet, pushing her loose hair behind her ear. She usually did when she was nervous.

"Come on, let's look for Cat," I cleared my throat, trying to get to her without staring.

We walked around the mansion of a home, trying to look for were Cat could be, when I heard sobbing from behind a bathroom door.

"I found her," I whispered to Tori. She nodded as I tried to open the door. "Shit, it's locked…"

_Oh well…_ I thought. I kicked down the door.

"C-cat! Oh my fucking God!" Tori yelled, her eyes widening.

Cat's eyes grew wide like a deer's in headlights. She immediately edged herself from us, throwing the bloody knife she had in her hand down. Her arm was bleeding, and she had abuse marks evident on her small body. _I knew there had to be a secret behind this overly "happy" girl. _I broke inside, seeing Cat curl up and start to cry.

"No…no…no…please…be quiet," she whispered, her face full of gleaming tears. She closed her eyes tight.

I ran over to her, hugging her and kissing her forehead lightly. I was glad she was okay. I'd of course make her talk later, but I had to get her to a hospital first.

"Can you walk?" I asked.

She nodded yes, but didn't get up. She moved over from me slightly.

"Cat, we have to take you to a hospital," I said, gently coaxing her into coming.

"No." She looked panicked. "He'll find me."

_Crap, I forgot about her dad, _I thought.

I looked up at Tori. She seemed distant, and was staring at me, deep in the eyes. Sure, she probably could never see me this calm, gentle and kind to anyone. But Cat was like a sister to me. I loved her like that. Tori looked away.

"Vega, call an ambulance," I said to her. She started walking toward the door, but stopped.

"No!" Cat yelled, her eyes tearing up again. She grabbed me, with extreme force, and looked up. "No!"

"Fine, we'll stay, for now. But we have to treat these wounds eventually," I said, understanding her feelings.

I looked at Cat. She looked emotionally beyond repair. She rested her head on the sink cabinet. I reached for the sleeves of her shirt and pulled them up, to reveal several cuts and scars all over. Her face sunk into sadness.

"You're cutting again…?" I calmly asked.

She looked at me, and then looked away, shame in her eyes.

"Cat, please answer me, are you cutting again?" I asked again, firmly.

"I…have to," she whispered, her voice shaking. I didn't want her to start to cry again.

"Ok, ok, shh…"

Tori was standing in the door way, and I made eye contact with her. She swiftly looked away again.

But she didn't think I saw the tears fall from her eyes.

**A/N: **How was that? I think this was one of the more improvised and revised chapters of the story. I added a lot more as I was writing. I even got some inspiration and started writing a new chapter in my "Notebook of Wonders"…

Anyways, keep reviewing, following, favoring, and reading!

(By the way, I suddenly have started watching CSI, just now! Crazy stuff guys… and gals).

Good night!

Signing Out,

emigirl108


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **It gonna get intense from here on out! So keep your minds open to some twists!

Yes, I know it's short, but a long one is coming up.

By the way, I love the show 90210! You all should check it out. And THAT show it intense.

Onward!

…

Chapter 5

(Tori's POV)

There are a lot of things I'd love to take back in my life.

What I said about Jade was one.

I could never imagine such a girl with such a mean streak being so loving and caring. Her walls had obviously dropped, and she couldn't put them up again, after I saw her like this.

I kept staring at her. She was rocking Cat back and forth, apparently calming her down. Even I felt tranquil watching her; in a state of peace.

"Jade," I said, trying not to jolt her.

She looked up at me, and she didn't even look mad. Her green eyes shone towards me.

"Can we…um…talk outside?"

Cat looked like she was sleeping, so Jade placed her on the wall. She got up and walked to me.

We stepped outside, and I closed the door behind us.

"What's up?" she asked calmly.

"You!" I whispered. I looked away.

"What do you mean me?" She started to sound angry.

"You're acting differently than the Jade I thought I knew. You usually act like you don't like me, and you always say you hate me…But with Cat…" I muttered, trying not to make eye contact.

But I somehow couldn't resist looking. Millions of thoughts filled my head as I looked at her tearing up.

She spoke up. "I thought I'd never cry in front of you Vega… But I guess…" Jade started, looking away. "I guess I've gone soft. At least you can get rid of me as a threat and walk away, right? That's fine. You can leave."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not going to leave. I think it's beautiful the way you care for Cat, I think you love her. And… I don't think you hate me. I'll help you as much as I can. Just… don't be a stranger…"

"No, you don't care about me. No one does. I'm a horrible person. I have no place to output emotions, and everyone sees me a selfish, ugly bitch. Now Beck's gone, the only person who understood me," she sobbed.

"You aren't selfish; you just have a lot on your mind all the time. Talk to me when you want to, okay. Don't… push me away," I said.

I walked up to her and hugged her. She hugged me back. Not a warm hug, but not a cold one either. I felt Jade's tears slowly drip onto my back, and I released from the hug.

"It's going to be okay," I reassured her. She nodded back, wiping her tears. She smiled at me with a weak smile.

We headed back inside the bathroom, feeling better about my relationship with Jade.

Jade West.

…

**A/N: **Yes, I know… A bunch of sappy, fluffiness. But I'm actually not in the best moods physically… So this is what I'll give you. Until next time, lads (how do you say lads for girls?) Anyways, I will be updating in about 4 more days because I have a lot of Break homework, and I want to CHILL. But I won't forget you all!

Signing out,

emigirl108


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **And now I return after a 5 day break to continue with the story! I'm sorry, I've been overwhelmed… well more like seriously obsessed with, 90210… I've been watching seasons 1-4 all day long! I can't believe I've missed the best show in the world!

Okay, okay, I'm getting off topic. I'll be trying to focus as much as possible, and I really don't know how to continue the story, so I've been on a long hold.

Also… My birthday is tomorrow! (Not that you all care…)

But, anyways, let's go, shall we?

Onward!

…

Chapter 6

(Cat's POV)

I didn't open my eyes when Jade was in the room. But when I knew they were outside, I opened them. I crawled up to the knife and picked it up. Then I went towards the door.

I eavesdropped on their conversation and held the knife next to me. Of course, I wasn't going to cut now, I was too sore. But it wouldn't be long until the scars I had would heal.

"You're acting different…" I heard Tori say. "But with Cat…"

I never knew Tori was watching Jade so closely. I knew that Jade used Tori as her subject of release from her pain, so I guess Jade was acting differently.

I went back to my place on the wall and closed my eyes again. I tried to relax, but I felt sick and dazed, as if I had a bad hangover. I had bad memories flood into my head.

"I wish I really was care-free and oblivious," I whispered.

Jade and Tori stepped into the door and closed it gently. Jade walked over to me and sat down.

It was too quiet, so I broke the silence. "Thank you for coming," I said, my voice gone from crying and yelling.

"It's no big deal, at least you're ok," Jade said.

"Did you bring Tori on your own call?" I asked, curious about how she would respond.

"Um… yeah… for moral support, I guess."

She shifted her eyes at Tori. Tori smiled and sat next to me.

"I'm glad you're okay, too. We'll all get through this together. Jade let me get your phone," Tori smiled.

"Sure…" Jade said, suspiciously glaring at Tori, but not how she seemed to before.

Tori grabbed the phone and started looking through the contacts.

"We'll get started to go soon, Tori… I mean Vega… um… Can you get the car started?" Jade told Tori.

"Sure," Tori responded.

I stood up and grabbed Jade's hand to bring her to my room.

We entered the room, and I braced myself for the worst news I had to give Jade before a mess became of our lives.

"I'm sorry," I said to Jade, tearing up. Her face dropped, and I knew she knew what I meant.

…

**A/N: **I know! Another cliff hanger! And its way too short, I know. But I do have a long chapter coming, promise. But that just my style of writing.

Hope you all enjoyed! And thanks **VictoriousLover331 **for Favorting my story! I really appreciate it!

Signing out,

emigirl108


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Yes I took a while. Shout out to ManiacMily. **

Thanks everyone for following, favoriting, and reviewing…

You all are my basic motivation for writing the rest of this!

No more talking!

Onward!

…

Chapter 7

(Jade's POV)

"I'm sorry," Cat said. I stared at her with confusion.

"What are you talking about? Why?" I asked, confused about the sudden outburst.

"I-I was… cheating…" Cat murmured out. But she didn't have to say a single word to me. In a split second my emotions changed from sympathetic to raging mad. I knew by the look on her face what she did.

As usual people were abusing my feelings. No one understood that I still had a heart behind my huge stone wall. Sure I tended to act mean, but I had too many secrets to hide from people. The only person I trusted was obviously Beck, but I was so reluctant to share my real feelings, I lost him before I could say anything to him. And now the news I just received had made my wall shoot back up. No weak emotions would be let out.

"With Beck?!" I yelled, clearly disgusted. She had no idea how badly I wanted to break down and cry in a corner. But I held it together.

I walked closer to Cat's face. "With my BOYFRIEND?" I pushed her forcefully. "Since when did you decide that his death week was a good time to tell me this, Cat? Goddammit!"

I knew she hated when people yelled loudly, and my soft side felt like calming down. I hated seeing her upset. So I walked over to her bed, strangely decorated highly in black, and sat down to compose myself.

"I…" Cat started. I cut her off.

"Say NOTHING," I said firmly, tears creeping up into my eyes. "I thought we were friends! Why did you have to mess things up?"

My face swelled up, as it did when I cried, and emotions couldn't hold in anymore. They rushed in like a broken dam.

"I didn't want to hurt you anymore than you already were, Jade! What did you want me to do? Wait until the funeral to tell you? Where you would have probably killed me too? Or what about before he died? Obviously you would have broken up, then he'd have died, and things would have been horrible. I saved a lot of shit from happening!" Cat yelled.

"I'm not on good terms, now that I know you were cheating with Beck. So our relationship wasn't perfect, and I was obviously living a lie!" I murmured, fuming towards Cat.

My weird ass relationship with Tori.

Cat's cutting, abuse, and CHEATING.

Beck's death.

Fuck. Too many problems to deal with right now.

"Is everything alright? I heard yelling…" Tori said, walking into the room. I didn't care if she saw me like this. I was weak and tired, and I felt like giving up. I had enough issues.

No one treated me with enough respect. It was weird, because I was feared. But I guess I could basically blame that on myself. I hated this barrier that I built, it only caused me to hide emotions and lose connections that I felt with people around me. Everyone tried to show me who I could really be, but I couldn't let my stupid ego and fears go. I guess Beck was the only person who broke down my wall. But I now knew it was because of other reasons.

"Cat's a bitch," I murmured running to the door with tears flooding my vision. I accidentally bumped into Tori, and I stopped and stared at the confusion on her face. Time seemed to slow down. But I rushed passed her and headed towards the exit of her house.

"Life sucks, doesn't it…" I whispered to myself.

I got into the car, started the engine, and shifted into first gear. I sped off, hoping to gain some kind of comfort.

(Tori's POV)

_Oh God, here we go again with the tears…_

I closed my eyes and let out a breath of deep frustration. Why was there so much freakin' drama? Especially after a death?

I walked over to where Cat sat on the floor. I sat next to her, and rubbed her back and tried to calm her down.

"Why were you crying?" I asked. What a lame question.

"I cheated with Beck, on Jade," Cat said, he voice soft and weak. I stared at her and discontinued rubbing her back.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

"I knew it was wrong, and I didn't want to get involved… I hated seeing Jade get so confused, But Beck wanted to give up on her, and he told me I was the only girl in his heart… For months I believed him, at first it started off as small hook ups, then we started sneaking away together. I saw Jade being left out, but I thought she would get the message, and that Beck would explain. I just didn't know he was going to get murdered…" Cat explained, sobbing.

"That's wonderful, now Jade doesn't know who to blame; herself, you or Beck. Who's now dead," I sighed.

"H…He was drunk when he was murdered, I remembered now," Cat stammered.

"What? How?" I gasped.

"He was bringing me to his RV to 'hang out and make out' as he would call it. We were there, but he got hammered and extremely drunk. He was going crazy and wouldn't listen to me when I said stop. I called Jade."

"How did she not catch that you guys were together?"

"I don't know, I guess she trusted me… Well, not anymore… I called her over, and she came. I told her to control Beck, and she ended up hitting him, grabbing him, and punching him. So I… left… I thought she could handle it."

"And the next morning… He was dead."

We sat in frightening silence. Could it be possible? Jade couldn't have killed the person she… loved.

Unless she forgot.

"We have to leave. Now," I said, trying to grab Cat. She jumped up before I could grab her.

"Let me get Mr. Purple first," she said, racing towards the messy closet in her room.

"Whatever," I said.

Boy, was I confused as hell…

…

**A/N:** And that is Chapter 7, folks. Told you it would be a long one!

How should I continue the story? Should Jade be the killer? Or maybe some unmentioned character should be here… Crazy Robbie? Ooooh, maybe "lovestruck" Andre?

I'm getting ideas! But I won't update in a while. School is pressure, you know.

Thanks for reading! Favorite, Follow, and Review!

Signing out,

emigirl108


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I have some good chapters coming up for you guys! And I have the rest of the story planned out in my mind, just working on getting it down. Lots of writers block, realllyy sorry!

But I want you guys to read. Please suggest me anything, I'm willing to listen.

Also, I'm working on my second music mixtape, so I may be busy a lot.

No, I totally am still dedicated to this story! Seriously! I read it over and over again in my notebook, and I still feel good about it!

Wish me luck!

Onward!

…

Chapter 8

(Jade's POV)

For the one person still technically important in my life that I still cared about, Cat certainly made a lasting impression in our friendship.

I mean, I knew she had issues, as everyone does, and plenty of dark secrets, as most people do, but cheating on me with my boyfriend? For Cat that was low. Very low.

But what crazes me is how much I trusted Beck. Shouldn't I just hate him? He didn't actually care about me. We were supposed to be together, but he was feeding me lies, and I was falling for his shit.

I told him.

I told him I loved him.

I never told anyone that.

And I'm not a deep person, yet I'm still a girl with feelings under all these tough shades of grey.

To be honest, I don't have it in my stone cold heart that Cat understood how I felt about them being together. All their secret rendezvous and plans… I actually felt left out at one part of my life. My heart was throbbing, and well as my mind, working a mile a minute. I felt pain for a moment. Was this my fault that this was happening?

As usual, I was driving in the cold, with all the windows down. I breathed in slowly, trying to determine how to deal with what I heard. I wasn't going to cry, because Beck was already dead. I felt guilty. But I wouldn't hold a grudge for too long.

_Vrrrrrrttt…_

_My phone is vibrating?_

I looked down.

_Oh crap this is Tori's phone! I must have taken the wrong one from the house…_

I lifted the phone and checked the caller ID.

_Andre?_

"Hello?" I said, trying to sound perky and not like myself.

"Tori?" he said, surprise in his voice. I knew that he didn't think this was Tori.

"No, dipshit, this is Jade," I remarked.

"Wow, what colorful vocabulary Jade… Where's Tori?" he said coolly, probably smirking through the phone.

"Thanks, and apparently we switched phones by accident. What were you gonna ask her?"

"It's kinda personal."

"So personal you can't tell me?"

"Yeah."

I sighed. One tough cookie.

"Tell me," I demanded.

"No, I don't have to Jade."

"Yes, you will, because I have Tori's phone right here."

"Fine! You won't care, but I asked Tori out…"

Lord Jesus…

"When the hell did this happen?" I yelled into the phone, trying not to get too worked up. Why was I getting worked up?

"Like a month ago. Before I left for Georgia. She said yes, you don't care. Right?" he said, becoming silent.

"Of course I… don't, you guys… it's just surprising. Did you guys…um… Never mind it's none of my goddamn-"

"Yea."

I clasped my jaw.

"And… I think she's pregnant."

My hands got cold.

"How would you know?" I said calmly.

"There was a… test in my bathroom. Thank God my mom didn't see it before I left."

I held my breath.

"Hello?" he said.

"Did you know that Beck was supposedly murdered?" I said in a sarcastic tone.

Silence.

"W-What?"

"Brutally, in his RV, and I found him. It's basically a blur, all I remember was me going there after Cat called…" I trailed off, reminded of the events of earlier.

"Um… Tell Tori I said hi. And to… call me as soon as possible."

"Sure."

He hung up the phone quickly and I was left driving silently again.

"Wow. Magnificent," I said to myself, worried for Andre, and me. How did I not know what happened in that RV?

I pulled over to the side of the bumpy road and decided to check more on the situation with Tori and Andre.

Tori? Pregnant?

No, it couldn't be. She was so young, and not even able to handle her older sister.

_God, again, worrying about Tori…_

I scrolled through the phone.

_**Messages: **__3 __**Inbox: **__2 __**Outbox: **__1 _

_Outbox? CLICK._

"Hmm."

_**To**__: Andre_

_We can't b 2gether. Just a small bump in the road. And there's some1 else. I'm sorry. Hope we can still b friends._

Small bump?

What a fucking understatement, Tori!

Obviously, she understands that she's pregnant. And I can guess that she probably wants to hide the fact that she's having Andre's baby.

But how can you hide a black, growing baby from your family?

And the caring father?

I shook my head and put my head back. Should I tell Tori? It seemed unfair that she was hiding this secret.

Also, why would she break up via a text? That's so brutal, and not at all like Tori.

"Geez, something's not right here." I sighed.

I looked back down at the text.

_If I sent this, could I actually cause them to break up though? I mean, Tori could get an abortion, if she's not too far along, and Andre could just separate…_

_**Don't do it! You just made the ties even with her! She's your friend now.**_

_So what? She was going to break up with him anyways. She probably made a mistake…_

…_**Or maybe, she loves him too much. She probably doesn't want Andre to handle a baby from so far away. Don't break them up because of that. Was he even her first?**_

_Is that my problem? I could care less if he was her first. Beck was my first and he cheated on me with my best friend. And he's dead! So who am I to compare death with a new life? Tori probably could handle this… Just one button…_

_**What if it was you? Don't mess up a relationship, unless you can fix it.**_

_I have no sympathy for Tori, even if that was the pledge to my life!_

_Damn You!_

_Sending…_

_SENDING…_

The word lingered in my mind as I closed my eyes to rest. What did I just get myself into?

…

**A/N: **Pretty conflicting chapter. A lot wasn't pre-scripted, so I think it's really deep.

Next chapter is in the writing process, BUT: what do you all think should happen next?

Leave a comment/ review about your opinions!

Thank you for reading! It really means a lot to me, as I'm going through a lot and I need some external support!

Love you all!

Shout out: ManiacMilly fallspring99

Thanks!

Signing out,

emigirl108


	9. UPDATE

A/N: UPDATE!

Im Sorry.

SO SO SO SO Sorry.

I'm ending the story. BUT…

I want either ChasingMidnight or eleanorr1gby to continue writing my story.

I don't know what happened. So I'll just say… (Again im sorry)

1). Beck committed suicide. He was depressed about the entire situation with cheating on Jade, so he got drunk, and took Jade's scissors and stabbed himself. Jade knew what happened, but in the RV, while they were fighting about their tense relationship (someone needs to write in depth!) Jade suffered a blow to the head, and she didn't know what happened after. That's why she had no idea what happened after she woke up.

2). Robbie is married (WOW) to a lovely woman. She's happy, kind, and keeping secrets. He's very successful and rich, living in a big home on a beach shore. Unfortunately, he's the one that basically separated from his friends the most after high school. So he keeps making bad decisions after bad decisions, including drugs with his newly found friends. After his wife and him… do the "fun time" (heh), a month later, she decides to tell him that he's HIV+. This is after he finds out that Beck died. He goes into massive shock and has a heart failure, goes to the hospital, and goes through extensive treatment. The rest of the gang finds out, and visits him. (Jade is the most effected, and she doesn't want to see another dead/ dying person). Robbie is pretty much close to dying at the end of the story when his wife's dad (BIG doctor) finds a rare cure and saves him (cliché I know…).

3). Tori is pregnant. With Andre's kid. Andre DOESN'T get the text that Jade was trying to send (we'll get into that later). So when Andre moves back to L.A., Tori doesn't know, and Andre thought she'd be happy. She's obviously not, and extremely heart-wrenched. Tori doesn't want to have a baby, but she has feelings for Andre still that won't go away. Tori and Andre go through hard times for the baby (it dies because Tori takes random pills to "kill" it) but Andre thinks it's a natural death. He eventually finds out, and moves back to Atlanta, where he finds small music gigs (and hook-ups) to take his mind off the only person he really, truly loves: Tori Vega.

4). Cat goes through worse times. Her dad happens to actually rape her, even after counseling with her, causing her to try and kill herself one time. But she stops, knowing that Jade is her "guardian angel" and that she would hurt more if Cat took her own life. Her cutting doesn't stop, but it's less frequent. She ends up finding about Robbie and his HIV, but they still do the "fun time", thinking that they should because of their pain. Cat is HIV free, but she thinks she has it. She tells no one her problem, and ends up running away. Jade (obviously) finds her, and helps her cope with Robbie, her dad, and Beck. Jade forgives Cat, and they end up closer at the end of the story.

5). Jade is slowly coping, but in the wrong way: she's got the hots for Tori. Somehow, they get in plenty of awkward moments where they're almost close to kissing, but Tori always stops it, and Jade gets frustrated with herself. She eventually moves past Beck, and forgives Cat for what they do. Jade also learns something about herself: she has a rare case of bipolar disorder from her mom's side (her mom died from suicide). She doesn't let it affect her, but she's constantly either calm and peaceful (e.g. Her and Cat in the bathroom) or dangerous and destructive (e.g. When she's about to send the text to Andre). The text actually fails to send because of the lack of signal in the forest where she was driving. Eventually she finds out about Robbie, using him as a way to switch her attention to something besides the stress she was having. Tori and Jade have a talk about what was going on, and Jade admits what she was feeling. They kiss, but Tori feels nothing. Jade, on the other hand, leaves with more questions, and a weird behavior around everyone.

And that's really it! I hope you guys will convince and share this to ChasingMidnight and eleanorr1gby to get them to write the actual story! And yes, they can write sequels.

I may start a new story!

But I really appreciate the support I had. Again SORRY, but THANK YOU.

Onward!

emigirl108


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